Category: AltPorn Updates
Nerdpr0n: Anna Likes Books … A Lot
MelisandeSeptember 6, 2006
Dear Anna, I own at least 250-300 books [including Internetworking with TCP/IP Volumes 1 & 2]. Please come to my house and pose in front of them. Then maybe we can...
RazorDolls: Your Fuck Table For Two Is Ready
MelisandeSeptember 6, 2006
Why does everyone seem to think that sex on a table is comfortable? It’s a hard surface! And not in a good way! Ever try to get splinters out of your ass?...
BlueBlood: Dahlia Dark Shows Off Her Half Corset … And Her Boobies
MelisandeSeptember 5, 2006
Again with the tits! I can’t get enough of Dahlia’s tits. She can wear whatever she damn well pleases as long as I get a peek at the dirtypillows.
SpookyBlog: Youn-Kyung Gets Naked at the Houseparty
MelisandeSeptember 5, 2006
Nobody got naked at the Ghostly afterparty at DEMF this past summer, and now I feel cheated. All I got was a free magazine and overpriced water! SpookyBlog writes:...
CyberDyke: Shiva – don’t mess with The Destroyer!
DarkseidSeptember 4, 2006
Okay, I’ll admit to being a little confused by this model’s name because the Hindu god Shiva is, you know, not female. Hey, maybe she’s taking it back,...
Burning Angel: Anouck
EdRothSeptember 4, 2006
Anouck is totally the altporn Audrey Hepburn. I wish I were her George Peppard, but I’m a lot closer to Mickey Rooney. Anyway, this set reminds me of that Iron...
DeviantNation: Skunk On A Leather Couch
MelisandeSeptember 4, 2006
One of my dream furniture purchases is a black leather couch. Skunk crouching on it would, of course, be totally bonus. She could help me apply leather treatment! And...
Spiceplay: Maya Chillaxes To Some Tunes
MelisandeSeptember 3, 2006
I believe the cheesy pickup line “Hey baby, nice cans!” is appropriate to use at this juncture. Spiceplay writes: Have you ever wondered how beautiful women...
BlueBlood: Xanthia Peeling Off Rubber
MelisandeSeptember 3, 2006
Xanthia sometimes finds rubber restricting. I always find Xanthia’s breasts fascinating.
RazorDolls: Sasha Grey Is Flexible
MelisandeSeptember 2, 2006
Sasha Grey could also use a nice big carnitas burrito from Chipotle. I’ll throw in an order of chips and guac, too. And unlimited drink refills! Also, is it my...
BlueBlood: Raven’s Umbrella Won’t Keep Her From Getting Wet
MelisandeSeptember 2, 2006
I’m positive Raven would look fetching in a see-through raincoat. Can I get one at Hot Topic?
BlueBlood: Dude, Keiko Just Flashed Me!
MelisandeAugust 31, 2006
Girls with no panties would definitely make my next train ride more interesting. Why can’t I meet girls like Keiko on public transit? The only girls that will talk...
Burning Angel: Kylee & Kurt Make With The Tongue Action
MelisandeAugust 31, 2006
Isn’t it precious when people with lots of tattoos make out? Burning Angel writes: Kylee and Kurt, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…no great love here, but...
NoFauxxx: Mr. Paisley Digs Nude BMXing
MelisandeAugust 30, 2006
NOTE: Mr. Paisley is a trained professional. Please do not attempt nude BMXing at home. NoFauxxx writes: Meet Mr. Paisley, NoFauxxx‘s newest model, and learn the...
SpookyBlog: Stuffed Animals And The Candy Ravers That Love Them
MelisandeAugust 30, 2006
Don’t get me wrong, I am all about stuffed animals. But I don’t take them to raves. And I certainly don’t get naked and kiss them in public....
BlueBlood: Justine Joli Prefers Oversized T-Shirts
MelisandeAugust 29, 2006
I would like to state for the record that I am totally in love with Justine’s labia minora after seeing this photoset. Why doesn’t mine look as pretty as...
Nerdpr0n: Fire. Wire.
MelisandeAugust 29, 2006
Naughty girls like Anna Logue need their nipples bound by USB A-to-B cables! And how sad am I for trying to identify all the different types of cables in the nest...
BlueBlood: Do You Have An Oral Fixation?
MelisandeAugust 28, 2006
Scar 13’s hookah method is unstoppable. Also, it in no way shape or form involves panties.
RazorDolls: Vivian Viva will cane your ass
EdRothAugust 28, 2006
Canes are the hot new thing in altporn, man. All the cool kids have them. Of course, I like my girls nerdy, so it’s good that Vivian’s a super-hot nerd too....
BlueBlood: Superna Spices Up Any Decor
MelisandeAugust 27, 2006
How do you make a brick wall less boring? Have Superna pose in front of it, of course! Her peacock halter definitely de-bores any surroundings.
SpookyBlog: Sexy Raver Girls Love Their Glowsticks!
EdRothAugust 27, 2006
Jamie, there are a lot of things I like about your picture here: You have cute little panties You’re all hot and stuff Your nipples are pierced I think your...
Burning Angel: Angelina Reorganizes Your Office
MelisandeAugust 26, 2006
Angelina would make for a very interesting Franklin Covey catalog girl, don’t you think? Burning Angel writes: Angelina gets turned on by disorganized offices....
Burning Angel: Daphne Will Be Your Little Monkey
MelisandeAugust 25, 2006
Sock monkey alt.porn is a woefully underrepresented niche market. Thank goodness Daphne’s doing something about it! Burning Angel writes: Daphne‘s all ready...
BlueBlood: Rooftop Party Time!
MelisandeAugust 23, 2006
I enjoy hanging out on rooftops and smoking cigarettes. It makes me feel mysterious and powerful. Nina Sin enjoys doing the same thing, except she likes to whip...
Burning Angel: Crossing Guard Refuses To Wear Pants
MelisandeAugust 23, 2006
How embarrassing! Jolie forgot her stop sign AND her pants! The parent-teacher association is certainly going to hear about this! Burning Angel writes: Check out Jolie!...
BlueBlood: Bath Time With Yolanda
MelisandeAugust 22, 2006
Well hello there, Yolanda. Would you like some handmade soap for your bath? Or maybe scented salts? Perhaps a Bill O’Reilly-free loofah would please you? By the...
Burning Angel: Bushels Of Ass
MelisandeAugust 22, 2006
How can you not make a corny pun when talking about Apples? You know, bushels of apples? Get it? Uh … *carcrash* Burning Angel writes: Check out our newest angel,...
BlueBlood: Look Honey, Orange Lingerie!
MelisandeAugust 21, 2006
I don’t really see orange lingerie everyday. In fact, I don’t generally see it at all. So why not have Erica model some for us?
Nerdpr0n: OMFG, MacBook Pr0n
MelisandeAugust 21, 2006
You know what? FUCK playing Oregon Trail on an Apple II emulator. Especially since Anna’s got a new MacBook! Holy shit! I want a cap of her iSight stream! Someone...
BlueBlood: Ariel X Abides No Cheap-Ass Floor Lamps
MelisandeAugust 20, 2006
She is avant garde with regards to her light sources. No frilly lampshades needed here; only the finest in fluorescent tubes for this lady!
CyberDyke: Yay, More Of The Lesbionics!
MelisandeAugust 20, 2006
Dara and Misha are still going at it. That’s what I call staying power! CyberDyke writes: Sappho’s Girls Cyber-Dyke–porn for women, by women!Click here...
BlueBlood: Anastasia Gets The Naughty Chair
MelisandeAugust 19, 2006
Bad girls get the nipple clamps and the butt plugs! Them’s the rules.
CyberDyke: Nude Dancing Allowed Here
MelisandeAugust 19, 2006
If only more dance programs encouraged the lesbionics! Merce Cunningham Dance Company performances would get a hell of a lot more entertaning, that’s for sure....
BlueBlood: Restricted In Red
MelisandeAugust 18, 2006
Ribbed–for your pleasure! Of course, it’s a total bitch to breathe, and the corset leaves marks on your skin, but what’s a little suffering when you...
Burning Angel: Tortured Hipsters Always Wear Pink Belts
MelisandeAugust 18, 2006
Paging Blue States Lose, paging Blue States Lose, please pick up the white courtesy phone. Burning Angel writes: January came by NYC the other day and caused a storm...
BlueBlood: Black Rubber And Big Boobs
MelisandeAugust 17, 2006
Also included: big lips, silver dollar nipples and bangin’ hips. In conclusion: boobs.
RazorDolls: Hay Guys, Who Wants A Threesome?
MelisandeAugust 17, 2006
Sometimes you just have to pick up a girl and rail her on a flower print bedspread while another girl grabs her tits. Threesomes: it’s what’s for dinner!...
BlueBlood: Erica The Red House Painter
MelisandeAugust 16, 2006
I expect a negative number of people to get the obscurely obvious band reference in the title of this post. And no, I’m not talking about the Viking metal album...
SpookyBlog: Buy Voltaire A Beer!
MelisandeAugust 16, 2006
I would love to watch Voltaire drink beer but I’m way too intimidated by her full-body art to ask her if I can tag along to the nearest dive bar. I’d pick up...
BlueBlood: I’m Captivated By Xanthia’s Gazongas
MelisandeAugust 15, 2006
I’m also captivated by Xanthia’s eye makeup and dyed eyebrows. But mostly I’m captivated by her tits.
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