Category: AltPorn Updates
BurningAngel: Ms. Jade Models The Latest In Scarf Technology
MelisandeOctober 7, 2006
The blurb says something about Jade being “really fuckin’ hot in these pants,” but I’m too focused on the scarf–OH, AND THE...
Nerdpr0n: Dear Lord, Knitting Porn
MelisandeOctober 6, 2006
Dear Anna, I don’t even know how to respond to this. I do know that I need to take you shopping at Jennifer Convertibles for a nice leather couch! Love, Melisande...
RazorDolls: Sasha Sparks Loves Her Dildo, I Just Love Her Tits
MelisandeOctober 6, 2006
Damn, those are some tig ol’ bitties. Forget the dildo, can I just look at the boobies? Please let me look at the boobies. RazorDolls writes: We had the pleasure...
BlueBlood: Darenzia sez “Fuck All Y’all!”
EdRothOctober 5, 2006
Sticky Fingaz may have told us to BACDAFUCUP, but I’m more interested in what sultry fetish erotica goddess Darenzia has to say about telling me to go fuck myself....
BurningAngel: Joanna’s Fasting
EdRothOctober 4, 2006
Hey, Joanna kinda looks good in this pic! Guilt works, baby. BurningAngel writes: Joanna is busy repenting for her sins so she can’t update today but she does love...
DeviantNation: Graveyard Sally’s Old Jalopy
MelisandeOctober 3, 2006
Here’s two things I enjoy seeing together: old cars and tattooed models. Model T? No, Model Sally! DeviantNation writes: Graveyard Sally shows us her love for old...
DeviantNation: cerah Solves My “PC LOAD LETTER” Problem
EdRothOctober 3, 2006
Pale, red hair, and in business formal? This is unbelievably hot. We should hang out, cerah. DeviantNation writes: Photographer: LiquidLight “Listen, are you gonna...
BurningAngel: Lee Enjoys Painted Orange Walls In The Nude
MelisandeOctober 2, 2006
If what’s stated in the blurb is true, I sure hope the Martha Stewart Everyday Colors paint line has some orange shades in it. Naked girls in front of orange...
DeviantNation: Angel With Scars
MelisandeOctober 2, 2006
I am really into scarification, so it goes without saying that I am fixated by the scars on Angel’s legs. Damn. That’s on the near edge of hardcore....
BlueBlood: Roxy DeVille is Girl 666
EdRothOctober 1, 2006
Sometimes Roxy DeVille calls me up to shoot the breeze about things like early west-coast gangsta rap or whether she should be wearing panties. And I usually say...
BurningAngel: A Cliché Poem For Aurora, As Requested
MelisandeOctober 1, 2006
Haiku for Aurora’s Pink Panties A pink cotton crotch right in my face. I am dead. So totally dead. BurningAngel writes: Roses are red, violets are blue,...
BlueBlood: Roxy DeVille Owns The Spider’s Lullabye On Vinyl
EdRothSeptember 30, 2006
Why is it that BlueBlood gets all the hottest, coolest chicks? Case in point: Roxy DeVille, superhottie and cool as fuck. The lips, tits, skirt and stockings are all...
RazorDolls: “Great Hotel Bedspreads with Zoe Matthews” Is Season Passed On My TiVo
MelisandeSeptember 30, 2006
Zoe should really consider a career as a cable television travel show host. Think of all the hotel and motel bedding she could showcase! RazorDolls writes: If you havnt...
SpookyBlog: Bella Vendetta Riding on the Subway Naked
EdRothSeptember 29, 2006
Who’s the hottest chick on the planet? Well, I’m not sure, but surely in the running is the lovely Bella Vendetta, whom I’ll forgive for not wearing...
DeviantNation: Hilton Sports Hipster Star Tattoos
MelisandeSeptember 29, 2006
That’s a cute and beautiful lil star tattoo on Hilton’s back. And also note the cute and beautiful lil heart tattoo on her wrist. I like things that are cute...
Nerdpr0n: Anna’s Polka Dot Panties FTW!
MelisandeSeptember 28, 2006
Dear Anna, I want to come home to this after a long day slaving away at the salt mines. Love, Melisande Nerdpr0n writes: I took the sweetest darlingest pair of panties I...
BurningAngel: Whisky != Dick
MelisandeSeptember 28, 2006
Because she’s a girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl, a-duh. And like the blurb says, she’s a nice girl with killer boobs. I mean, look at them! Don’t those boobs kill...
BlueBlood: Kellie And Andy And A Fifth Of Jack
MelisandeSeptember 27, 2006
Domestic bliss can be achieved with liberal application of Jack Daniels. Also, writing “SLUT” on your husband’s chest in fake blood can be a turn-on....
DeviantNation: Aries Is Like A Box Of Chocolates
MelisandeSeptember 27, 2006
… and that’s where the Forrest Gump references end, because I just want to eat Aries up in one shot while watching my TiVo’d copy of the “Dancing...
CyberDyke: Candice Plays With Fun Dildo Toys
MelisandeSeptember 26, 2006
Oh, Candice. I love your taste in dildos. Have you considered checking out some of the higher-end glass dildos on the market? I would greatly enjoy your take–or...
BurningAngel: Jane The Alt.Porn Hooters Girl
MelisandeSeptember 26, 2006
Jane could eat Hooters shrimp with me anytime! More cute emo girls should get jobs at Hooters. We all know emo boys need to get a little meat on their bones, and what...
DeviantNation: Miesha Has A New Pirattitude
MelisandeSeptember 25, 2006
This would have been the perfect International Talk Like A Pirate Day tie-in post! … but I missed it by a week. My bad. Anyway, Miesha totally has pirattitude, as...
RazorDolls: Mika Tan And Lystra Model The Latest In Cowboy Hat Technology
MelisandeSeptember 25, 2006
When I think of corn-fed cowgirls, I do not think of Mika Tan and Lystra. It’s like my farmhand daydream has been hijacked by some altporn-minded higher power!...
BurningAngel: Send Me An Angelle, Right Now
MelisandeSeptember 24, 2006
Angelle’s pose reminds me of the daily outfit photos a blogger in Rhode Island is currently posting. I won’t link her because she’d probably freak out...
DeviantNation: Sin Has Big Boobs
MelisandeSeptember 24, 2006
I would comment on Sin’s interesting lower lip piercing, but I am so distracted by her hefty boobs I can’t even think of what I was going to say....
NoFauxxx: Avarice’s Rooftop Fun
MelisandeSeptember 23, 2006
Is that a little bit of bondage with coaxial cable I spy? Now that’s kinky! It’s not going to help you watch “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip”...
BlueBlood: Girls Kissing, Now With 100% More Blood
MelisandeSeptember 23, 2006
Everyone enjoys girls kissing, right? But only the discriminating few enjoy girls kissing whilst engaging in bloodplay. Are you one of the discriminating few?
CyberDyke: Fierce Is, Well, You Know …
MelisandeSeptember 22, 2006
I love her boyish slicked-back hairdo, especially when paired with that nice rack. Yum! Check out the teaser page on the CyberDyke LiveJournal community for more photos,...
BurningAngel: Pinky, The 80s Fashion Icon
MelisandeSeptember 21, 2006
Man, check out that jean skirt over lace leggings. Can you say “on the way to a Madonna concert” or what? Plus, bonus peek-a-boo open toed shoes!...
Nerdpr0n: Anna Likes Double Dildo Penetration … A Lot
MelisandeSeptember 21, 2006
Dear Anna, If you need a hand with putting those dildos somewhere, I can help! Love, Melisande P.S. I’ll give you something to investigate! Nerdpr0n writes: Ooh,...
Featured Model: Vivian Viva
EdRothSeptember 20, 2006
I actually started modeling at 14, mom put me in modeling school and I did some fashion and runway, then stopped. Went on with life and married then divorced, after my...
DeviantNation: Airrica Marks Herself Up
MelisandeSeptember 20, 2006
You know what would be really kinky? If Airrica got someone to write a sestina on her back. That might even be hotter than actual intercourse for poetry nerds!...
BlueBlood: Kellie Vamps It Up
MelisandeSeptember 19, 2006
The “blood” in this photoset is supposedly vanilla-flavored, according to the blurb on the Blueblood gallery. I didn’t know goths tasted like vanilla!...
BurningAngel: Chapel!
MelisandeSeptember 19, 2006
Nine Inch Nails fangirls should never be gagged without prior consent. I mean, I’m sure they’ll like it, but it’s only proper manners to ask first....
DeviantNation: Antietam Models The Latest in Barette Technology
MelisandeSeptember 18, 2006
This photoset is supposed to feature a lollipop but I’m kinda fixated on the barettes. Um, maybe she could do an all-barettes set next? DeviantNation writes:...
Nerdpr0n: Anna Likes Alan Moore … A Lot
MelisandeSeptember 18, 2006
Dear Anna, I had no idea “Lost Girls” was even coming out in hardcover, so I have to thank you for alerting me to its existence. Sadly, I’ve become so...
RazorDolls: Regan Reese Eats A Hamburger
MelisandeSeptember 17, 2006
I have nothing more to add here, other than the sentence “I like to eat Regan Reese while Anything!” not being gramatically correct. What. Figures that...
CyberDyke: Sapphire On Hardwood Floor
MelisandeSeptember 17, 2006
Combinations of precious gems and chemically treated wood are sometimes successful, as Sapphire demonstrates in this photoshoot. CyberDyke writes: Sappho’s Girls...
BlueBlood: Xanthia Rubbernecks In The Backseat
MelisandeSeptember 16, 2006
I apologize for the horrible pun, but when faced with Xanthia’s rubber-encased breasticles, I am at a loss for words. Forgive me.
SpookyBlog: Scar Lets The Puppies Breathe
MelisandeSeptember 16, 2006
Scar just loves hanging out on rooftops totally naked, and I love her for it. SpookyBlog writes: Scar 13 occasionally even braves the bright sunshine for a sexy shoot...
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