But I do have some quibbles. First, I couldn’t find any legit listings (non-torrent) for Penthouse’s Steampunk Alternasluts (nominated for Best Web Premiere), and I’m not going to click on a torrent link in Google, so I’m just guessing from the name that Penthouse must have done something alt there (although not being able to find it buts a question mark next to Best Web Premiere.) Second, how did BurningAngel get nominated for Best Original Song, but not for Best Soundtrack? Third and more significantly, like last year’s AVN Awards Best Alternative Site nominations, I am scratching my head again this year. WTF does AVN think “alternative” means? It seems like that blonde pornstar bleach has gone to their brains. Here are the 2014 AVN Awards nominees for Best Alternative Site: (How are these sites even comparable for an award?)

AVN Best Alternative Website:

• Clips4sale.com
• CrashPadSeries.com
• DivineBitches.com
• FattyD.com
• InsideAdult.com
• JuicyPinkBox.com
• Kink.com
• MeanBitches.com
• SexuallyBroken.com
• ShemaleYum.com
• ShemaleStrokers.com
• Sssh.com
• TSPlayground.com
• Wasteland.com
• WoodRocket.com

Despite the cluelessness on what the alt genre is all about, AVN still honored a lot of cool hard-working alternative performers and other creative people. Maybe the plus here is that alt is becoming sufficiently recognized that it is not ghettoized into one little category, but can win across the board. Here we are all rooting for BurningAngel to take home the wins again.

Here is an assortment of the good AVN Award nominations: (according to me)

2014 AVN Award Nominees

VIDEO
All-Girl Performer of the Year:
Justine Joli

BBW Performer of the Year:
April Flores
Kelly Shibari
Courtney Trouble

Best Actor:
James Deen, Watch Over Me, Digital Playground
Tommy Pistol, Evil Head, BurningAngel/Vouyer
Michael Vegas, Rebound, Wicked Passions

Best All-Girl Group Sex Scene:
Belladonna: No Warning 8, Belladonna/Evil Angel; Lia Lor, Lea Lexis & Leilani Leeane
Brazzers Presents: The Parodies 3, Brazzers; Lexi Belle, Christy Mack, Bonnie Rotten & Gia DiMarco
Sweet, Taliah Mac, Annabelle Lee, Ashlynn Leigh, Shyla Jennings&Annika Amour

Best All-Girl Release
Girls Will Be Boys, Belladonna/Evil Angel
Rooftop Lesbians: Going Up to Go Down, BurningAngel/Vouyer

Best All-Girl Series
Belladonna: No Warning, Belladonna/Evil Angel

Best All-Sex Release
Trashy, Rock Star/Adam & Eve

Best Anal Release
Rock & Roll In My Butthole 3, BurningAngel/Vouyer

Best Anal Sex Scene
Skin, Elegant Angel Productions; Skin Diamond & L.T.
What an Asshole, Belladonna/Evil Angel; Dana DeArmond & James Deen

Best Art Direction
Evil Head, BurningAngel/Vouyer
Underworld, Wicked Pictures
The Walking Dead: A Hardcore Parody, BurningAngel/Vouyer

Best Boy/Girl Sex Scene
Deep Pussy, Darkko Productions/Evil Angel; Skin Diamond & Prince Yahshua
Forsaken, DV Productions/Evil Angel; Ash Hollywood & Michael Vegas
Planting Seeds 3, Smash Pictures; Christy Mack & Toni Ribas
Skin Tight, Wicked Pictures; Dani Daniels & James Deen
The Temptation of Eve, New Sensations Erotic Stories; Bailey Blue & Xander Corvus
Ultimate Fuck Toy: Kennedy Leigh, Jules Jordan Video; Kennedy Leigh & James Deen
Wolverine: An Axel Braun Parody, VividXXXSuperheroes; Andy San Dimas & Tommy Gunn

Best Cinematography
Evil Head, BurningAngel/Vouyer; Mike Quasar
Underworld, Wicked Pictures; Francois Clousot

Best Comedy
Band Sluts, BurningAngel/Vouyer
Blondes Do It Better, BurningAngel/Vouyer
Clown Porn: The Parody, Blue Circus/Pulse

Best Director – Feature
Band Sluts, BurningAngel/Vouyer; Joanna Angel
Underworld, Wicked Pictures; Brad Armstrong

Best Director – Non-Feature
The Gang Bang of Bonnie Rotten, Digital Sin; Eddie Powell
Trashy, Rock Star/Adam & Eve; David Lord

Best Director – Parody
Evil Head, BurningAngel/Vouyer; Doug Sakmann
The Walking Dead: A Hardcore Parody, BurningAngel/Vouyer; Joanna Angel & Tommy Pistol

Best Double Penetration Sex Scene
Descent, Dana Vespoli/Evil Angel; Dana Vespoli, Alec Knight & Danny Wylde
Evil Head, BurningAngel/Vouyer; Joanna Angel, Tommy Pistol &Danny Wylde
Skin, Elegant Angel Productions; Skin Diamond, Marco Banderas & Prince Yahshua
Wet Asses, Jules Jordan Video; Shena Shaw, Ramon Nomar & Mr. Pete
Wet Asses 2, Jules Jordan Video; Veruca James, James Deen & Ramon Nomar

Best Drama
Underworld, Wicked Pictures

Best DVD Extras
Underworld, Wicked Pictures

Best Editing
Clown Porn: The Parody, Blue Circus/Pulse; Dick Chibbles
Underworld, Wicked Pictures; Scott Allen
The Walking Dead: A Hardcore Parody, Burning Angel Entertainment; Sonny Malone

Best Girl/Girl Sex Scene
Beyond Fucked: A Zombie Odyssey; Smash Pictures; Bonnie Rotten & Nikki Hearts
Bitchcraft 9, Jake Malone/Evil Angel; Andy San Dimas & Chanel Preston
Girls Will Be Boys, Belladonna/Evil Angel;Ash Hollywood & Aiden Ashley
Paint, Girlfriends Films; Dana DeArmond & Veruca James
The Walking Dead: A Hardcore Parody, BurningAngel/Vouyer; Skin Diamond & Kleio Valentien

Best Gonzo Release
Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom, Vivid Celeb
Inked Angels, Kevin Moore/Evil Angel
Jack Attack, Digital Playground
James Deen’s Sex Tapes: Off Set Sex, James Deen/Evil Angel

Best Group Sex Scene
Bridesmaids, Digital Playground; Jesse Jane, Stoya, Kayden Kross, Brooklyn Lee & Johnny Sins
The Devil’s Gang Bang: LIsa Ann vs. Chanel Preston, Devil’s Film; Chanel Preston, Danny Wylde,
The Gang Bang of Bonnie Rotten, Digital Sin; Bonnie Rotten, Karlo Karerra, Tony DeSergio, Mick Blue & Jordan Ash
Gangbanged 5, Elegant Angel Productions; Jada Stevens, Erik Everhard, James Deen, Jon Jon, Mr. Pete, Prince Yahshua, Ramon Nomar, John Strong & Julius Ceazher
The Madison’s Mad Mad Circus, Kelly Madison/Juicy; Christy Mack, Kelly Madison, Kendra Lust, Anikka Albrite, Brooklyn Chase, Jacky Joy, Romi Rain & Ryan Madison
Orgy University, Vivid Entertainment Group; Sarah Shevon, Skin Diamond, Aiden Starr, Dana DeArmond, Veruca James,James Deen, Jon Jon, Mr. Pete & Tommy Pistol
Hall, Aiden Ashley, Aaliyah Love, Ike Diezel, Travis Varjak, Jack Nixon, Lemy Metal & Porno Dan
Performers of the Year 2013, Elegant Angel Productions; Lily Carter, Ramon Nomar, Erik Everhard, James Deen, Alex Gonz, Toni Ribas, Jon Jon & Bill Bailey
Pump My Ass Full of Cum 3, Jules Jordan Video; Amy Brooke, Mark Wood, Chris Strokes & John Strong
Six in Me 2, Smash Pictures; Sarah Shevon, Danny Wylde, Mark Anthony, Marco Banderas, Logan Pierce & Evan Stone
Skin Diamond:No Limits, Zero Tolerance Entertainment; Skin Diamond, Billy Glide, John Strong, Mark Wood, Tommy Pistol & Will Powers
The Walking Dead: A Hardcore Parody, BurningAngel/Vouyer; Joanna Angel, Kleio Valentien, Larkin Love, Arabelle Raphael, Danny Wylde, Tommy Pistol & Wolf Hudson

Best Interracial Release
Dark Meat 5, Belladonna/Evil Angel

Best Makeup
Beyond Fucked: A Zombie Odyssey, Smash Pictures; Melissa Makeup & Andrea Wiersma
Clown Porn: The Parody, Blue Circus/Pulse; Dick Chibbles
Evil Head, BurningAngel/Vouyer; Melissa Makeup
The Walking Dead: A Hardcore Parody, BurningAngel/Vouyer; Andrea Wiserma & Tommy Pietch

Best Marketing Campaign – Company Image
BurningAngel Entertainment

Best Marketing Campaign – Individual Project
Clown Porn: The Parody, Blue Circus/Pulse
Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom, Vivid Celeb
Underworld, Wicked Pictures

Best Music Soundtrack
Trashy, Rocky Star/Adam & Eve
Underworld, Wicked Pictures

Best New Starlet
Christy Mack

Best New Studio
James Deen Productions

Best Non-Sex Performance
Zak Sabbath, Devil on a Chain, Vivid Entertainment Group

Best Oral Sex Scene
Facial Overload 3, Darkko Productions/Evil Angel; Bonnie Rotten
Joanan Angel: Orgasm Addict, BurningAngel/Vouyer; Joanna Angel [scene 5]
Skin, Elegant Angel Productions; Skin Diamond [scene 1]
Suck Balls 3, Darkko Productions/Evil Angel; Larkin Love

Best Original Song
Band Sluts, BurningAngel/Vouyer; “Gimme Some Pants” by Joanna Angel and the Gigolos

Best Packaging
Underworld, Wicked Pictures

Best Parody – Comedy
Evil Head, BurningAngel/Vouyer
The Walking Dead: A Hardcore Parody, BurningAngel/Vouyer
Welcome Back Kotter XXX: A DreamZone Parody, DreamZone/Vantage

Best POV Release
P.O.V. Punx 7: Big Boob Edition, BurningAngel/Vouyer

Best POV Sex Scene
Lesbian Anal P.O.V. 2, DV Productions/Evil Angel; Bonnie Rotten & Dana Vespoli
P.O.V. Punx 7: Big Boob Edition, BurningAngel/Vouyer; Vyxen Steel&James Deen
Schoolgirl POV 9, New Sensations; Riley Reid & Xander Corvus

Best Safe Sex Scene
Girl/Boy, DV Productions/Evil Angel; Jiz Lee & Manuel Ferrara
Hotel No Tell, Wicked Pictures; Bonnie Rotten & Erik Everhard
Hotel No Tell, Wicked Pictures; Kaylani Lei & James Deen
Rekindled, Wicked Pictures; Ash Hollywood, Tommy Pistol & Prince Yahshua

Best Screenplay
Band Sluts, BurningAngel/Vouyer; Joanna Angel & Spock Buckton
Underworld, Wicked Pictures; Brad Armstrong

Best Screenplay – Parody
The Walking Dead: A Hardcore Parody, BurningAngel/Vouyer; Joanna Angel & Tommy Pistol

Best Solo Sex Scene
Ass Wide Open 2, Belladonna/Evil Angel; Lea Lexis

Best Special Effects
Evil Head, BurningAngel/Vouyer
Underworld, Wicked Pictures

Best Star Showcase
I Am Christy Mack, Pornstar Empire/Exile
Joanan Angel:Kinky Fantasies, BurningAngel/Vouyer
Skin, Elegant Angel Productions

Best Supporting Actor
Xander Corvus, Underworld, Wicked Pictures
Mr. Pete, The Stripper 2, Sweet Sinner/Mile High
Derrick Pierce, Underworld, Wicked Pictures

Best Supporting Actress
Dana DeArmond, Orgy University, Vivid Entertainment Group
Stoya, Code of Honor, Digital Playground

Best Tease Performance
Hot Body Ink, Elegant Angel Productions; Bonnie Rotten
Trashy, Rock Star/Adam & Eve; Christy Mack

Best Three-Way Sex Scene – B/B/G
Anikka, Hard X/O.L. Entertainment; Anikka Albrite, James Deen & Ramon Nomar
Band Sluts, BurningAngel/Vouyer; Draven Star, Tommy Pistol & Danny Wylde
Welcome Back, Kotter XXX: A DreamZone Parody, DreamZone/Vantage; Mia Gold, Tommy Pistol & Jon Jon
Whore’s Ink, Darkko Productions/Evil Angel; Bonnie Rotten, Billy Glide & Bill Bailey
Wolverine XXX: An Axel Braun Parody, VividXXXSuperheroes; Allie Haze, Xander Corvus & Derrick Pierce

Best Three-Way Sex Scene – G/G/B
Anal Corruption, Kevin Moore/Evil Angel; Jada Stevens, Remy LaCroix & Mr. Pete
I Am Christy Mack, Pornstar Empire/Exile; Christy Mack, Bailey Blue & Toni Ribas
Obedience School, Kevin Moore/Evil Angel; Bonnie Rotten, Gia DiMarco & Danny Wylde
Underworld, Wicked Pictures; Jessica Drake, Asphyxia Noir & Toni Ribas
Weapons of Ass Destruction 7, Jules Jordan Video; Gabriella Paltrova, Zoey Monroe & James Deen

Best Wall-to-Wall Release
Whore’s Ink, Darkko Productions/Evil Angel

Director of the Year
Joanna Angel

Female Performer of the Year
Dana DeArmond
Skin Diamond
Bonnie Rotten

Mainstream Star of the Year
Buck Angel
Joanna Angel
James Deen
Stoya
Danny Wylde

Male Performer of the Year
Xander Corvus
James Deen
Tommy Pistol

Most Outrageous Sex Scene
Evil Head, BurningAngel/Vouyer; Kleio Valentien in “Double Pine-etration”
Fluid, DV Productions/Evil Angel; Justine Joli, Aiden Starr, Dana Vespoli & Chad Diamond in “Zero Gimp Thirty”
Snail Trails, Belladonna/Evil Angel; Kristina Rose & Chastity Lynnin “Lesbo Basting”
Squirtamania 32, Porno Dan/Pure Play; Andy San Dimas & Porno Danin “Sippin’ on Some Slit-zurp”

Unsung Starlet of the Year
Jessie Lee
Proxy Paige
Arabelle Raphael

Best Live Chat Website
Chaturbate.com
MyFreeCams.com
Streamate.com

Best Membership Website:
BurningAngel.com

Best Porn Star Website
Joanna Angel (JoannaAngel.com)

Best Solo Girl Website:
Kayla-Jane Danger (MyDollParts.com)
Ariel Rebel (ArielRebel.com)
Austin White (MyAustinWhite.com)

Best Web Premiere:
Girl Pile, QueerPorn.TV
Steampunk Alternasluts, Penthouse.com

The first chapter chronicles Zak Sabbath (then named Zak Smith) falling for Joanna Angel (weirdly called Joanna Divine for the purpose of this book) while painting her. In the first chapter, Zak describes his date with Joanna Angel with a self-deprecating but knowing sense of humor. He is smitten and she has sex with some other guy in the restaurant bathroom in the middle of their date and then cries at the table and the table is shaped like a bed. New York seems to have weird restaurants where you can spend a Valentines Day in bed at a restaurant. This was a creatively very productive date, as Joanna Angel and Burning Angel got the Fuck Me in the Bathroom DVD and site out of it and Zak got the kickstart for his We Did Porn book out of it.

The books goes on to chronicle what Zak seems to view as his descent into porn. He points out his fine art cred in a way which is funny and entertaining to read, but it also kind of seems like he is trying to suggest he is somehow better than many of the other people working in porn. He credits some porn people as sharing his love of author Thomas Pynchon and stuff like that, but there is the sense that he mentions the exceptions. It is possible that, because his focus is altporn, he really is talking about the exceptions.

It is hard to explain, but it is like the book gets less smart once Zak starts making porn and not just painting pornstars. Like, in the part where he talks about dating Joanna Angel, he has analogies from other forms of media and he seems really self-aware and like he knows what’s what and is speaking to universal truths. In the part where he talks about making porn, there is a lot of stuff which just does not ring true. Like Zak keeps talking about how porn is the biggest business in the whole world, when I don’t think you have to know that much about business to know that can’t be right. Blue Blood‘s Amelia G did a whole comparative breakdown of complex industry benchmarks to demonstrate how wrong it is to say porn is the hugest industry, but, although understanding what a market capitalization is might be over my head, I still knew while reading We Did Porn that what Zak was saying about how rich porn makes everyone had to be wrong. Zak says he is bad at doing porn, so maybe it would make sense that he is not rich from porn, but most of the people he writes about do not seem rich either, so I do not know where he got the idea. Everybody makes mistakes, but, when I see one super wrong thing where someone is supposed to be expert, it makes me question everything else I read there.

I think that the other thing which made the later parts of We Did Porn harder to read was the way everyone had a fake name. I think most porn performers use a stage name or a bunch of stage names to begin with, but Zak calls almost everyone by a second fake name. Maybe the book publisher didn’t want to give like Burning Angel publicity, so it had to be called Divine Things with Joanna Divine or something like that. It makes it harder to read though because every page had me trying to figure out who I was reading about. This is probably not so much of an issue for someone who knows nothing about altporn and doesn’t care who Joanna Angel is or for something who is really expert in altporn, especially video altporn, and can easily tell who all the fake stage names are referring to.

One of the biggest porn films Zak Sabbath performed in was Hospital (called Medical in Zak Smith’s memoir). APN’s Domina Doll wrote up Hospital when it came out. I can’t seem to find much Zak Sabbath porn since Hospital was shot at the end of 2008. I know the title of the book is We Did Porn and not We Are Doing Porn, but I wonder if he quit or was forced into retirement. I am curious as to what the altporn video industry response to the book was. The book was favorably reviewed by Blue Blood, Penthouse, Fleshbot, and Girls Gone Wild Magazine. I didn’t know there was a Girls Gone Wild Magazine. Anyway, of those media companies which gave We Did Porn favorable reviews, none were mentioned in the book and I wonder what the people he wrote about think.

So I am on the fence about this book. Parts of it are hard to read and not very enjoyable and parts of it are easy to read and laugh out loud funny.

The film stars Mandy Morbid and her real life partner Zak Sabbath. Mandy started off as a Suicide Girl under the alias Adria and transitioned into porn with her first non-sex role as a chorus girl in Bullets & Burlesque (2007), also directed by Profane. Since then she has appeared in two other porns doing sex scenes including Shades of Romona (2008) and Young Hollywood (2008).

In Hospital, Mandy plays Lucy, a punk chick who is admitted against her will into a creepy mental hospital where she is to undergo archaic treatments for her sexual deviancy. The film oscillates between the asylum and flashbacks of her life.

Hospital begins with a prelude with Lucy sucking a very huge cock (or at least it appears to be so with the morphed camera lens and stark spotlight halo that illuminates only her and said cock, with the background in blackness). A distorted electronic voice-over of a woman commences chronicling Lucy’s aberrant psychosexual behavior that is symptomatic “in its repetitive nature and inevitability”. She then awakes to find herself on a hospital gurney.

Lucy wanders the long, ill-lit halls and soon finds herself a voyeur to a naughty nurse scene between Caroline Pierce and Sochee Mala. Both girls have piercings and tattoos, but are not what I would describe as nonconformist or alternative. The performances lack enthusiasm using the typical type of girl-girl action: pussy licking, fingering and a strap-on. The scene ends, then Lucy undergoes a flashback.

Lucy and her boyfriend (Zak Sabbath) go to celebrate scoring some cash after a con-job on Kimberly Kane. This scene is hot as the couple fuck like pros and Mandy’s voluptuous body bounces with enthusiasm. Zak sports a wicked tattoo on the side of his head that was attacked by a zealous barber. The scene ends with a tit-fuck and then Jak pours candy hearts on Mandy’s sticky naked hot-bod. At one point during the scene there is happy Doris Day style music playing as they kiss and embrace in a mockery of “family values” ideology and the sweetheart candies are perhaps evocative of this.

Back at the hospital, Lucy is cuffed to the shower by one of the nurses and symbolically purified with a water torture treatment.

The scene then flashes back again as Mandy passes Marie McCray (both wearing identical Asian-styled dresses) in a stairwell where they pull a switcheroo and exchanges wigs. Marie then enters a room in an abandoned warehouse where Daniel is playing a video game. Marie removes her wig to reveal her strawberry blond pigtails and begins to seduce Daniel. There is nothing alternative about Marie, except for her striped stockings and funky shoes, but she is a pretty sweet. Daniel is a great performer and he has amazing stamina. He is genuinely passionate through-out his performance and seems to inspire the same in his co-star. I love the way he man-handles Marie with playful choking and spanking. The scene is shot from several great angles including high above which gives you a strange voyeuristic bird’s eye view of the action. Several times during the scene, it cuts back to the two nurses who are monitoring the action and taking notes.

The scene ends and we cut back to Lucy who has a strange spiked helmet on her head. She awaits her impending therapy, in which Dr. Profane intends to cut a hole in her skull to drain excess the blood. His attempt is halted by a pencil to the skull after Lucy untangles herself from white bandage bondage. She is rescued by Zak and Coco Velvett who speed her off to the nearest sleazy hotel and a fairly hot girl-girl-boy scene ensues.

Hospital is a good attempt at something different within the alt-porn genre. It is stylish with a good use of camerawork and sound elements. Profane doesn’t overuse “avant-garde” aesthetics like distressed film look, jump-cuts, white-outs, or excessive editing techniques that are typical of Eon McKai. On the other hand, it is not as “dark, squalid, and ominous” as I had hoped and there are many missed opportunities within the medical fetish genre that could have been utilized. No straight-jackets or medical paraphernalia to make for the atmospheric mis-en-scene I was hoping for. I was expecting dark and creepy, like Chad Michael Ward’s Pain Box series sexed up, but instead got Profane’s whacky alter-world with fairly standard porn. Mandy Morbid and Zak are hot, and Daniel is super-fantastic. This is a fairly decent art-porn and more significant (IMHO) than the Psychocandy series.

Director: Benny Profane
Cast: Mandy Morbid, Zak Sabbath, Caroline Pierce, Sochee Mala, Kimberly Kane (Non-sex), Daniel, Marie McCray, Coco Velvett, Benny Profane (Non-sex).